A Tale Told in Kisses
by IndependenceIndividuality
Summary: Four times Jacob kisses Nessie, and one time he doesn't. **NOW COMPLETE.**
1. The Imprint's Kiss

**_A/N:_** Hello, lovely readers - this is a short series I've been working on for the past few days. It originally started off as a one-shot, but I've decided to break the separate parts up into chapters. There will be five total, each detailing a different kiss at the different stages of Jacob and Nessie's relationship. Well, except for one, which I think you could gather from the summary.

I have the next part already written - I'm working on the third actually, but I'm not sure if I'll post before I'm finished writing. I might, depending on how long it takes.

Oh, and I'm not sure if it's clear here, and it's not necessarily important but I just wanted to mention that Jacob is the first person Nessie shares her gift with. So anyway, I hope you like it and make sure to let me know what you think!

**_Disclaimer:_** I don't own anything except the plot, which I probably stole from somewhere too. Oops.

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The Imprint's Kiss

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I couldn't stop staring at her - she was just so beautiful. More beautiful, more beautiful than any other thing my eyes had ever laid on. Not only beauty, perfection - a tiny little bundle of perfection. From her bright, beautiful eyes to her shocking copper curls to her sharp, milky white teeth.

And she was inexplicably mine. To care for, to protect. Forever.

She didn't smell like what she had come from, a human and a vampire. She definitely didn't smell like vampire because my nose wasn't burning, but she didn't smell human either - she smelled like her. Like Renesmee.

Renesmee. That was her name.

Light, life, hope - _love_'s name was Renesmee.

But still . . . it was a big name for such a tiny little thing. My tiny little thing.

I had never held something so small in my arms, so fragile - she was almost warm. I hadn't felt anything warm in more than a year. I rolled her name over in my mind, again and again as I cradled her close to my chest.

Renesmee. Ren, Nesmay, May, no, no. Reness - Ness . . . Nessie.

Nessie.

"Your - your name is awful long," I heard myself say, astoundingly ridiculous first words to say to such a perfect, amazing angel. "Can't I call you something else? Can I call you Nessie?"

Then she reached a tiny, pale white arm out from under her covers and placed it against my jaw. Her tiny, alive, perfectly soft, warm hand against my skin - and then I - I saw something.

I saw myself, as I said 'Nessie', and I felt a surge of happiness.

"Whoa." I might have stumbled if it weren't for the strongest, most base instinct to protect the life in my arms.

"What?" I snapped my eyes, for the first time in what felt like decades, away from my angel and towards her opposite - the blonde demon. "What have you done? Give her back, mutt - I shouldn't have let you lay your grimy paws on her in the first place."

And then she stepped forward, smelling like danger and death, and reached her dead arms out to take my - my Nessie, my special, precious thing from me and a thousand years of instinct rushed up inside of me like a dam about to burst.

I turned, clutching my precious thing closer to my chest yet careful not to crush her, and growled. No one would take her from me - I was hers and she was mine.

"You - you - " Blondie's eyes looked like they were about to pop from her head in pure rage, and I braced myself for flight. There would be no vampire rages close to the amazing thing in my arms. "You didn't - you did your - freaky dog mating shit on my _niece_?"

Never mind that this was what it took me to realize that I had just imprinted, I immediately bristled. How dare she say that? She may be a monster, but I certainly was not - how could I feel anything other than overwhelming - overwhelming, but platonic - love for this . . this child. I could _never_ . . .

"Give her back to me, you _dog_! Emmett!"

She lunged for Nessie and I dodged, snarling - how dare she do that? How dare she get her vampire claws close to my - my imprint? Mine?

"Hand to God, Blondie, if you don't calm the hell down, you won't lay hands on her!"

I knew I had to play this right - I was already making contigency plans because I most certiainly did not expect Edward and the rest of them to be okay with this. They had to be, I had to make sure they were, but if they weren't - well, nothing was going to stop me from being with her.

"_You _will not tell _me -_ "

"What's going on?" I flicked my eyes towards the door to see Emmett barelling in. His eyes went from me to the miracle in my arms and then grew cautious . . . and dangerous. He held his hands out. "Jacob - "

"If you don't tell that blonde devil to stop lunging at Nessie, she won't even have hair to fuss over anymore, you got that?"

"Nessie - what - ?"

"You heard me." I flashed my eyes down to the life in my arms to check that she wasn't afraid - I wouldn't be able to stand that - but she only stared up at me with her beautiful, round chocolate brown eyes. Blondie was shrieking her explanation at her mate now - and I knew what I had to do before they got too upset. It pained me, but I had to do it. For her. "Get her to calm down, and I'll - I'll give her back."

He watched me warily, like he only half understood what Blondie was screeching at him. Realization dawned, and it didn't look like he liked it, but he turned back to his mate.

"He's right, Rose, calm down," he soothed, and I swear to God he had one of his eyes on each of us. The banshee slowly quieted to a hiss. "You can't go leaping at her like that."

"Emmett," she started emphatically, her eyes wide with disbelief and rage. She gestured at the wonderfullnes I held cradled against me. "He - he - "

"I know that, Rose." For a second, the hulk looked dangerous, but I wasn't afraid. "But that'll have to be dealt with once Carlisle's back and Edward can leave Bella's side. Until then, _calm down_."

I was shocked to see her obey. I felt relief surge through me as my instincts realized the danger had passed, but pain, unbearable pain, at the thought of having to relinquish the piece of me that I held in my arms.

I looked down at her. Her eyes were still on my face - had she taken them off the entire time? Did she love me anywhere near as much as I loved her? God, I hope so.

"Okay, I'm _calm_," Blondie bit through her venomous fangs. "Now _give her back_."

"Okay, all right, just - just wait."

Panic welled up in me at the thought that I would let her go soon, not knowing when I could hold her again. If I would - please, please God let Edward understand. Before I could realize or recognize what I was doing, I had raised my little Nessie up high in my arms so she was closer to my face. Wide, deep, soulful brown eyes watched me as I leaned in. Blondie began to splutter, but I ignored it.

I ignored all of it, my entire being focused on the eyes right below mine, and pressed my lips to the soft, pale white skin of my imprint's forehead. Her scent was beautiful - clean and pure and sweet. I had never been so happy, so content, so perfect and at peace in my life.

Then I felt a warm hand on my jaw again. I pulled my lips back from her skin to gasp at the image I saw. My own face as I leaned closer, and I felt a surge of contentment and love. Then hot, but not too hot, lips against a forehead - and joy.

"Dog - get your - I can't, Emmett how can you let him - I - "

What was this? Some sort of special connection imprints shared? How come I had never heard of it before - or was it special only to my Nessie? Because it was possible - she was the most special thing to ever exist!

"Here," I forced myself to say, not taking my eyes off the ones that held mine so intensely, yet so innocently. "Take her before I change my mind - carefully, though."

I didn't know what this connection between us was, aside from the imprint, and I didn't know if it worked both ways but I liked to think Nessie could see inside my mind right now too. How much I loved her and wanted to protect her, how she was my universe now and would remain so.

_I'll hold you again soon, my little Nessie,_ I thought, praying she'd hear and maybe . . . be comforted. _Don't worry, I'll always be here._

And I would, even if it killed me. No self-righteous bloodsucker up on a highhorse was going to stop that.

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**_Next:_** _The Protector's Kiss_

"Tell me, Nessie," I urged her, reaching up to tuck one of her curls behind her ear. Her sad eyes looked up at me - I hated to see Nessie sad. I would do whatever to make sure I never had to see it again. "Don't be shy."

"I just . . . . I thought maybe . . . " Nessie's tiny hands reached down and pulled some grass from the ground. "I thought maybe, when I grew up . . ._we_ could get married. But then you said people in the same family can't marry each other . . . and that - that just made me sad."

"No, honey, no." I reached out and picked her up from under her armpits, setting her easily into my lap. She buried her face into my chest and I think I heard a sniffle.

"It's - it's just because I love you more than anyone else in the world and I want to be with you forever just like you said - but, but you're my family so we _can't_."


	2. The Protector's Kiss

**_A/N: _**All right, so here's the second kiss! This has to be my absolute favorite so far - I _loved_ writing Nessie like this. I hope no one is made uncomfortable by Jake and Nessie's discussion, but I saw nothing wrong with it and thought it was completely innocent and the epitome of adorableness. So yes, this is my absolute favorite! It literally gives me warm fuzzies. :) So I hope it does for you too. I'd also like to add that it's not just fluff, I think it really shows the depth of Jacob and Nessie's bond at that point in her life which I haven't really seen explored much before.

Wouldn't it just be perfect if people let marriage be as simple as Nessie sees it?

**_Disclaimer:_** I own nothing but the fluff that abounds in this chapter.

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The Protector's Kiss

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"Jacob?"

There was honestly nothing in the world I loved better than that, to hear that beautiful, sweet angel's voice say my name.

"Hm?"

I peeked one of my eyes open against the rare sunlight that was shining down today through the trees. Nessie sat at my side, cross-legged, leaning over so her elbow rested on my stomach and her chin rested on her fist. I sucked in a deep breath and relaxed, letting my stomach concave before forcing the muscles to tense back up quickly so Nessie's little elbow fell and then bounced, jostling her.

She gasped and giggled, slapping my stomach.

"Ja-ake!" She scolded, making me laugh out loud. I knew she wasn't really angry; she never did get actually angry with me. Her eyes widened as she grew more serious. "Can I ask you a question?"

I almost grinned at that, but caught myself. My bad grammar was rubbing off on Nessie; she used to correct me all the time, but now I caught her making some of the very mistakes she used to scold me about.

"I'm sure you can," I told her, and she narrowed her eyes at me, already knowing what I was about to say. What she always told me. "Whether you may is another story."

Nessie pounded my chest with her tiny fist, her other hand reaching up to aggravatedly push some of her beautiful hair out of her face.

Nessie was such a beautiful child. Her growth had begun to slow considerably, and now at just two human years she had the body of a tiny six year old. Carlisle and Edward said that now we could probably expect her to age about two years physically for every year of life - it was so amazing to watch her grow, but I was in no hurry for her to. She was perfect at every age - I didn't want to miss a second.

"Come on, Jake," she pleaded, resting her elbow on me like before. She widened her eyes at me and I knew I would be helpless to resist. "Why don't you ever want to be serious?"

"Okay, okay, Nessie, I'm sorry," I apologized immediately, pushing myself up into a sitting position. Nessie moved to accomodate me, situating herself right in front of my legs when I crossed them. "I'm serious now. Ask me your question, honey."

"Oh, okay." Nessie fluttered her eyes up to mine before she returned them to the skirt of the little dress Blondie had shoved her into. She started picking at a loose string - it must have just gotten that way, because there was no way that crazy vamp aunt of hers would have let her wear it otherwise. "I know this seems like a silly question, but, Jake . . .what is married?"

I felt my brow furrow as I ran my fingers through my hair. I wasn't sure I understood the question - it seemed like it was deeper than how it seemed on the surface. Nessie was extremely intelligent; she obviously knew what marriage was.

Or did she?

I paused to think. She had never been to a wedding, and although her family was very lovey-dovey, there was never talk of _marriage_. And she had only been alive a little longer than two short years; maybe it was possible she didn't fully understand.

"That's not a silly question, Nessie," I said first off, since I didn't ever want her to feel shy to ask me anything. "None of your questions are silly. I'm just not sure how to answer."

"Well," Nessie seemed to pause to think for a second. "Momma and Daddy are married, right?"

"Yes, your momma and daddy are married," I said, leaping at her help. "When . . . when two people, a boy and a girl, when they love each other very much, they decide to get married."

There. That hadn't been so hard! I patted myself on the back mentally. I realized I actually had more to add.

"And married means that you want to be together forever, and that you love that person more than anyone else in the world."

"Oh . . . " Nessie looked like she was thinking hard. "That sounds very nice. Who else is married?"

"Well, your Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rosalie, and your Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper," I listed, watching Nessie's adorable expression as she took it all in. "And your Grandpa Carlisle and Grandma Esme. And Uncle Sam and Aunt Emily, and Aunt Rachel and Uncle Paul . . ."

"A lot of people are married," Nessie said, sounding surprised, her eyebrows raised. Then she bit her tiny bottom lip and her eyes came back up to mine like a shot. "Are we married?"

Whatever I had been expecting, it had not been that. I believe I spluttered.

"N-no, no, Nessie, we're not," I assured her, starting to feel pretty uncomfortable. Maybe this was a conversation Nessie should have had with Bella. "Only . . . only grown up people can get married - the boy and the girl both have to be grown up."

"Oh." I couldn't read Nessie's expression, and I wished harder than anything that I could. "Well, are there any other rules?"

I almost laughed, but it was probably nerves. "Rules?"

"Yeah, you know, like the grown up thing," Nessie said, looking like she had just found a book that had an interesting summary, and now she was ready to actually read it. "Are there any other rules? Like, if they're both grown up, can any boy and girl get married?"

I thought about it for a second. Quil had it made on the question front when it came to Claire - the hardest questions she asked were probably about coloring between the lines.

"As long as they both want to . . . then yes, any boy can marry each other if they're grown ups," I explained, remembering another detail at the last minute. "As long as they're not related; you can't marry people in your family."

I was surprised to see Nessie's face literally fall. "Oh."

"What's wrong, honey?" I asked, concern eating at my stomach. What had I done? "Did I say something wrong?"

"No . . ." But I didn't believe her. Nessie's voice wavered, like she was close to tears. If I made Nessie cry because of this stupidness, I was going to kick myself. Literally kick myself. "I just . . . "

"Tell me, Nessie," I urged her, reaching up to tuck one of her curls behind her ear. Her sad eyes looked up at me - I _hated_ to see Nessie sad. I would do whatever to make sure I never had to see it again. "Don't be shy."

"I just . . . . I thought maybe . . . " Nessie's tiny hands reached down and pulled some grass from the ground. "I thought maybe, when I grew up . . . _we_ could get married. But then you said people in the same family can't marry each other . . . and that - that just made me sad."

"No, honey, no." I reached out and picked her up from under her armpits, setting her easily into my lap. She buried her face into my chest and I think I heard a sniffle.

"It's - it's just because I love you more than anyone else in the world and I want to be with you forever just like you said - but, but you're my family so we _can't_."

My heart literally broke and swelled up with love at the same time. I was torn up by the fact that Nessie was sad, that I had made her sad, but at the same time overjoyed at how much she loved me. I didn't see Nessie romantically - of course not - I couldn't see her as anything other than my perfect little girl. But I knew that one day I would, even if that was hard to imagine.

I had to explain this to her, but I had to be careful.

"Nessie, you're . . . when I said family, I mean people who share blood with you," I explained gently, pressing my lips into her hair. I rocked her gently in my arms. Or venom, but we wouldn't get into that now. "People that come from the same parents or grandparents - we're just like family, honey, but we're not actually related."

It felt strange to explain that to her - my entire being always pointed me in the direction of Nessie's happiness and comfort, but there was something distinctly weird about explaining to her that we weren't family. For the purpose of letting her know that it was okay for us to be married . . . one day.

Nessie's sniffing against my chest stopped. She wedged her small fist between my body and hers to wipe at her eyes - my stomach twisted again. Then, as I knew she would, she looked up at me, eyes wide, and asked, "So . . . we can get married, one day?"

I closed my eyes for a second to get a grip on things. Edward was going to kill me when he found out about this conversation.

"We could, if we wanted," I decided was safe to say. As weird as this all was, I couldn't say I didn't enjoy how Nessie's entire face lit up. "Once you were grown up."

I knew this conversation wasn't wrong, or bad - I knew my intentions towards Nessie fully, and I didn't feel a drop of guilt. Nessie was so innocent, so young - she didn't know what marriage truly meant. She didn't know about romance and all the rest that went along with it, the different kind of love that existed between family and lovers.

She just knew what I told her - that you get married to the person you love the most and want to be with forever. And for Nessie, that person was me.

That made me the happiest man on the planet. It literally made my heart want to burst out of my chest with joy, that my little girl loved me that much.

"Do you want to?" Nessie asked, as serious as I had ever seen a six-year-old. Well, a technically-six--year-old. "You said they both have to want to, right? They both have to love each other the most and want to be together forever."

"You know I love you most, Nessie," I told her carefully, and her eyes brightened. "And you know I want to be your friend forever - don't you?"

"Just checking," she whispered, looking a little abashed. "So?"

I twirled one of her curls in my fingers and sighed. I could never deny this little girl anything, even if it meant Edward was going to have my hide for it. Literally - I was a wolf.

"If . . .when you're all grown up, and if you still want to . . . "

"We can get married?" The light in her eyes was worth being skinned.

I nodded. "If you still decide you want to when you're all grown up."

"Oh, yes, yes, Jacob, I will!" She hopped up to her knees on my lap and threw her arms around my neck. I hugged her back on instinct. She kicked her tiny bare feet in excitement. "We're going to be together forever! But - but you can't . . . you can't marry anyone else, okay? You have to wait for me to grow up."

Nessie had pulled back to study my face, suddenly serious again. My heart grew even more.

"Of course I will, Nessie," I promised, staring her straight in the eyes so she knew I was serious. "Where would I find a girl as cool as you, anyway? Who would race with me and climb trees and all the other fun stuff we do?"

Nessie grinned, a huge, tooth-baring grin and lit up the entire forest. Then before I could even register it, she had gripped my face in her small hands and leaned forward, pressing her lips firmly against mine. It was a quick kiss, completely innocent, and over in two seconds.

I was too shocked to say anything - I always kissed Nessie when she was really small, but once Nessie started getting older, Edward had expressed certain . . . concerns. I agreed just to get him off my back - I knew what my feelings towards Nessie were, and I knew that they were nothing but platonic.

But Nessie had just shocked the hell out of me. And there she was, grinning at me like she was proud of herself.

It hadn't felt wrong . . . just a kiss, an expression of affection. But Edward might not see it that way.

The smile slowly faded from Nessie's face as I didn't say anything. Her brow knitted as her expression grew concerned. I felt the opening up that meant Nessie was sharing her gift with me - I felt her joy at my promise minutes ago, how it had welled up inside her until she hadn't known how else to express it. I felt how the kiss had been for her, a pure expression of that love and happiness. Then her confusion at my blank face when she pulled away - wasn't I happy?

"Of course I'm happy, Nessie," I explained, covering her hand against my cheek with mine. "I'm always happy with you, just . . . "

"I shouldn't do it anymore?"

"N-no," I mumbled, wondering how I had gotten myself into this. Please don't let me hurt her feelings again. "Probably not . . . "

"Was that . . . bad?" Nessie looked like she'd been scolded. I couldn't stand to see that.

"No, it wasn't wrong, Nessie . . . just . . . "

Nessie gave me a small smile, this cute little smile that she always got when she was about to have an evil little idea.

"Just don't tell Daddy?"

I laughed out loud at that, falling back onto the grass. Nessie followed me, leaning over my chest, giggling.

"Maybe not," I tried to say through my laughter. I rolled over onto my stomach and stood up, pulling Nessie with me to her feet. "Let's go run, Nessie."

"I'm going to win," she informed me proudly, hopping on the spot.

"We'll see about that," I challenged, crounching down like I was about to take off. "You've got a three second head start."

"I don't need it," she boasted, twirling around me in a circle, making her skirt and hair fly out around her. "I'll still win."

"You don't want it?"

The next thing I saw was a copper and yellow blur, her curls and skirt flying behind her, her bare feet kicking up dirt as she sped away. I waited two more seconds and took off after her.

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_**Next:** The Confidante's Kiss_

I inhaled and realized Nessie was right. Blood. I could smell it. My stomach turned. I pulled Nessie gently away from me, just barely so I could see her face.

"Nessie - Nessie honey, look at me. You have to tell me what happened," I explained hurriedly. "Where are you bleeding? What happened?"

Nessie gulped in a few deep breaths, tears pouring down her face by now, and she raised her palm to my cheek. I leaned down closer so she could reach, biting my lip to keep from screaming. What was happening?

As soon as Nessie's skin came into contact with mine, I saw what was rolling itself around in her mind over and over again.

I saw a pale pair of legs, Nessie's, bent at the knees and my bathroom floor beneath her feet. Pooled between her legs were her pajama pants and - and her panties. On the center of which was a dark red stain.


	3. The Confidante's Kiss

**_A/N:_** So, here's the third kiss. The Confidante's Kiss. I think you've all got the pattern by now - I'm not sure if it's clear, but while Jake's feelings are still planted firmly in the platonic area, Nessie's have already started to progress. It's kind of subtle, but I think it's there, so I just thought I'd mention it in case no one caught it. I know Nessie's reactions are a little extreme, but understandable, I think, for someone who'd never bled or been injured before.

Anywho, I'm really happy with this, so I hope y'all are too. Feedback is always loved and appreciated - I always reply. :)

**_Disclaimer: _**I own nothing - except the plot. I actually own that this time. I didn't even steal it from a song. Yay me.

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The Confidante's Kiss

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A pounding drew me up into consciousness. I tried to ignore it, but it only grew more consistent. I finally groaned and rolled off of bed, snatching a pair of gym shorts off the floor and pulling them on. I swear to God, if it was Embry, I was going to Alpha command him to wear pink boxers for the rest of the month. His little girlfriend would get a kick out of that - and the best part would be that he wasn't even allowed to tell her why.

I was actually warming up to the idea - I had just been woken up from a pretty peaceful sleep after a double-shift - when I swung the door open. But it wasn't my idiot pack brother.

Standing on my front step, still in her pajamas with a huge backpack on her shoulders, was my Nessie.

"Ness?" I asked in confusion, taking in her clothes and the huge bag on her back.

"Jacob!" She exclaimed, rushing in and hugging me around the waist. I hugged her back, using my free arm to swing the door shut behind her. "Happy birthday!"

Oh. I'd nearly forgot it was my birthday. It was why I did doubles yesterday, since Emily was planning some big shindig at her house this afternoon and Nessie invited me to the big house for dinner that night. But that still didn't explain why she was here - alone.

"Thank you - but Nessie, how did you get here?" I asked, walking to peek out of the window even though I knew I wouldn't see an expensive Cullen car. Vamps still weren't allowed in the rez. "Did you come all by yourself?"

"Yes!" she said excitedly, swinging her bag off of her shoulder and onto the floor and then doing a little hop. "Momma and Daddy let me - isn't that so cool? I ran all the way here!"

That was really weird - Nessie literally never went farther than from the big house to the cottage alone. Edward and Bella wouldn't allow it. I mean, I understood protectiveness, but sometimes they went kind of overboard. And to suddenly just let her run all the way here alone . .

"Well, I'd been bugging them since about June," she informed me, grinning widely. "They kept saying no, and then when your birthday started coming up, I had no idea what to get you and I kept thinking and thinking and nothing would come to mind, you know?"

"But - " I gestured at her clothes, still kind of confused (although definitely pleased) to find Nessie on my doorstep first thing in the morning on my birthday. In her pajamas. "Why are you in pajamas?"

"Oh, it's nothing, I'll get to that," she informed me, grabbing my hand and pulling me in the direction on the living room, reaching down to grab her pack in one hand as she did. "So I knew you were coming down to the big house for dinner, but you always do that, you know? And Alice is the one who plans everything and you know how she is . . . and you said you were coming to pick me up to go to Aunt Emily's at one, and we'd probably leave for the house after there, so . . . "

"So . . . ?" I prodded.

Nessie stopped her pulling once we made it into the kitchen - she hefted her huge bag onto the table, unzipped it, and started pulling stuff out.

"I'm cooking you a birthday breakfast," she announced, grinning widely. I watched as she unloaded flour, sugar, several small bottles of what looked like spices, a liter of milk and then most surprisingly, a carton of eggs. She looked back up. "Is that okay?"

"Sure it is, Ness, but you don't have to," I told her, scratching my neck and watching as she snatched a hair-tie off of her wrist and began gathering her thick curls into a ponytail.

"Do you even know how to cook?"

Because I was pretty sure she didn't. Nessie gave me a mischievous little smirk.

"I've been practicing," she said, pulling a chair out of my kitchen table and gesturing for me to sit.

I did, asking, "Are you sure you don't need any help?"

"Nope!" Nessie leaned down on her elbows onto the table and looked at me. "Now . . . what does the birthday boy want for breakfast?"

"Um . . . " I chewed on my lip as I thought. I didn't want to ask her for anything too hard - but what was hard to cook? I had no idea. "What can you cook?"

"Anything!" She burst out happily, standing up so she could start ticking off on her fingers. "I started last month and had Grandma and Momma teach me _all_ the breakfast foods they could think of - pancakes, french toast, hash-browns, eggs any way you want them, muffins - "

"Okay, okay," I cut her off, trying not to smile at her pride. I was touched - and surprised. Touched that Nessie had been working so hard to learn to cook for my birthday and surprised she'd managed to keep it from me. "What's your favorite to make?"

"Na-uh, Jake," she said, hopping around to my side of the table and patting my chest. "It's _your _birthday, so you tell me what you want to eat."

"Hmm . . . how about pancakes?" I decided, completely awake now. And hungry. And eager to see what Nessie would cook up for me.

"I can do that," Nessie announced, turning around to start digging under my cabinets. She came up with a saucepan. "Do you want banana pancakes, or chocolate chip or blueberry, or . . .?"

I felt my eyes widen. "Do you really have all that stuff with you?"

"Well, not blueberries," she admitted, shifting her weight and pushing a curl back. "I just remembered you had some last time I was here. I have chocolate chips, though, and you've got bananas over there in the bowl."

I just stared for a second. My Nessie never failed to amaze me.

"Well, can you do banana and chocolate chip together?" I asked.

"Sure I can, if that's what you want." I watched as Nessie pulled out a set of measuring cups I didn't even know we had from one of my drawers and started measuring out stuff into bowls. "I brought a bunch of your favorite movies with me too, so we can watch a movie before we have to go to Emily's this afternoon. That is, if you want to." She shot me a look from the corner of her eye - Nessie always chose the weirdest times to be bashful. "If you want to go back to sleep after breakfast, you can - I know I woke you up."

"Don't even worry about it, Ness," I said, waving her worries off with my hand. I tilted my chair back on two legs and propped mine up on the table. "If I don't wake up early on my birthday for you, who am I gonna wake up for?"

She blushed a little, but kept working. I was content to watch her. It was cool to see her work around my kitchen like that, I never had seen her like this before - she was growing up so fast. She was five by human years, but in Nessie-years she was more like twelve. Maybe thirteen, considering the time of year.

I watched her mash and stir and grill and ten minutes later, Nessie set a steaming plate stacked with banana-chocolate-chip pancakes in front of me. My mouth salivated as I kicked my legs off the table and sat my chair upright.

"Milk or juice?" She asked, already at the refrigerator.

I answered milk, hardly able to take my eyes off of the food in front of me. I was hungrier than I realized. I looked up when I heard the sound of my glass being set down - Nessie held out a fork to me, her eyes shy.

"If . . . if it's not good, don't eat it, okay?" She warned, to which I scoffed. "It won't hurt my feelings, I promise."

It was good, and I did eat it. Heavenly good. I had never eaten better pancakes in my life - I didn't even need the syrup Nessie sat in front of me and that was saying something. The fact that Nessie's hands were the ones that made the food might have had something to do with it, but it also had to do with the fact that they were damn good pancakes.

Nessie watched me nervously the whole time, fluttering over me until I finally told her to sit down. When she opened her mouth to say something back, I stuck a forkful of pancake in it. Her eyes widened, but she chewed quickly and swallowed. She slapped my shoulder when she was done.

"I'm just sharing the goodness, Ness," I told her, smirking around another mouthful.

"So it's okay?"

"It's - perfect," I promised, pausing in the middle to take my last bite. "You shouldn't have let me in on your new talent - I'll want you cooking for me all the time now."

"Oh, I will, Jake," she promised happily, making my heart flutter. "If Momma and Daddy start letting me come over by myself now, I'll make you breakfast every morning!"

I smiled and reached out to wrap my arm around Nessie's waist, pulling her into my lap. Edward hadn't banned it yet, but he always huffed through his nose whenever Nessie plopped into my lap around him, or I pulled her there, so I was careful not to do it with him around. I liked being close to Nessie, and there was nothing wrong with it, so I was going to try and keep a good thing going for as long as I could. I understood his worry, but damn. Hadn't he seen deep enough inside my head by now to know I wasn't like that?

"I don't know about that," I told her, sliding my hand up her back to guide her into my chest, surprised when she resisted. I thought maybe Nessie was uncomfortable since I didn't have a shirt on, so I ignored it. "I'm not that greedy - but I think after today I'm pretty eager to try your french toast."

Nessie smiled a little, then started forward a few inches before she stopped. Her self-check only seemed to last about half a second, and then she leaned into my chest. Her warm breath was comforting on my neck, nice, proof she was there. She moved her head back and forth a little, nuzzling her cheek against my shoulder.

"Happy birthday, Jacob," she said quietly.

"Thank you, honey," I said back, resting my cheek on her hair. "And thank you for cooking for me - that was the best birthday breakfast I've ever eaten."

"Really?" I could feel her smile, small and quiet, against my skin.

"Really," I assured her. "You about ready for that movie? What did all you bring?"

Nessie sat up and gave me a small smile, but it was strained, like something was bothering her suddenly. "They're all in my bag - you can get them and pick out your favorite. I'm going to go to the bathroom and I'll be right back."

I helped Nessie up and then stood myself, walking around to the other side of the table to retrieve the DVDs from her bottomless bag. I let my ears follow the soothing sound of Nessie's heartbeat as she walked down my hall while I headed into the living room. I was still flipping through the five or so selections that she'd brought when I heard her heartbeat accelerate rapidly. I barely had time to register it before I heard a strangled cry, followed by Nessie shouting my name.

My brain was unable to comprehend much, but my body seemed to know what to do, leaping across the loveseat and tearing down the hall. I stopped just short of the bathroom door.

"Nessie?"

My heart was pounding in my throat as I heard another cry. I was stepping back to kick the door in, not even bothering to check if it was unlocked, when it flew open. Nessie's face, whiter than I'd ever seen it and terrified, appeared, tears streaking her face and her eyes full of fear.

I was frozen. "Nessie - what - ?"

"I'm - I'm bleeding!"

"What?" I knew shouting wasn't helping, but I couldn't help it. I was terrified. "W-why? How?"

"I don't know!" Nessie was sobbing now, She flung herself into my arms and I was torn between the part of me that wanted to hold her fiercely against me and the part that was terrified of hurting her. Bleeding. "I've - never bled before . . . ever! I just - I'm so scared - "

I inhaled and realized Nessie was right. Blood. I could smell it. My stomach turned. I pulled Nessie gently away from me, just barely so I could see her face.

"Nessie - Nessie honey, look at me. You have to tell me what happened," I explained hurriedly. "Where are you bleeding? What happened?"

Nessie gulped in a few deep breaths, tears pouring down her face by now, and she raised her palm to my cheek. I leaned down closer so she could reach, biting my lip to keep from screaming. What was happening?

As soon as Nessie's skin came into contact with mine, I saw what was rolling itself around in her mind over and over again.

I saw a pale pair of legs, Nessie's, bent at the knees and my bathroom floor beneath her feet. Pooled between her legs were her pajama pants and - and her panties. On the center of which was a dark red stain.

My initial, gut reaction matched Nessie's exactly: panic. But then I remembered a conversation I'd witnessed in Carlisle's study a few months ago. They'd been discussing Nessie's recent physical changes after her latest appointment, and Bella muttered something about, "It won't be long."

"Until what?" I'd asked, since where Nessie was concerned I liked to be informed. Edward and Carlisle were nodding like they understood - it was only fair I know too.

"Until Nessie . . . begins to go through puberty," Edward explained.

"She'll most likely get a menstrual cycle, her hormones will start to change, her body will become more mature," Carlisle added.

Despite what people might think, I wasn't in a hurry for any of that stuff to happen. When it did, it would, but I was happy with Nessie however she was, all the time.

But now - I couldn't claim I knew exactly how this girly stuff worked, but knowing what it was calmed most of my fears.

"J-Jacob?" Nessie asked tearfully, her eyes wide, her breath hitching. "What's happening to me? Am I dying?"

"No!" I exclaimed immediately. I couldn't even contemplate that word in relation with Nessie. "No, Nessie honey, you're - you're gonna be fine."

"I - I - I am?" Her crying was making it hard for her to talk. I clutched her into my chest to try and comfort her. She wrapped her arms around me and clung. "I'm gonna be o-o-kay?"

"Yes, Nessie, you're going to be okay," I soothed, brushing her hair back. "That - what happened to you is normal. It means you're growing up."

I wish I knew in more detail how all the girly stuff worked and what it meant so I could explain it to her. I didn't even care that it was embarrassing; anything to comfort her. I was so angry with Bella and the rest of those damn vampires right now that I couldn't see.

They had known. They had known this was going to happen to Nessie, and they hadn't warned her. What did they think was going to happen when she got up one day and found blood in her underwear, when she'd never bled before? Ever?

I would have talked to her if I had known, I'd have researched my information and explained things to her - it was plain wrong the way they shut her out, even about things that included herself.

"How does b-bleeding mean I'm growing up?" She asked me, still crying softly into my chest. I could feel each of her tears against my skin and they felt like blades, cutting me.

"I - I think we need to take you home, Nessie," I suggested. As pissed off as I was with Bella and Edward and the rest of them, they would know what to do with Nessie better than I would.

I didn't expect Nessie to cling to me harder and shake her head frantically. "No, no, Jacob, you said I'm going to be fine. I don't want to go h-home if I don't have to."

"Okay," I soothed, reaching down to wipe some tears from Nessie's eyes. "Okay, we don't have to go home, Nessie, but we need to call Emily. She'll have to bring you something that you need."

"Medicine?" Nessie guessed, as I led her gently over to the couch. I sat her down beside me on the side where the phone was. "But normal people medicine doesn't work for me."

"Not medicine," I assured her.

I picked up the phone and dialed Sam's number one-handed, keeping my other arm tight around Nessie. Now I had to find a way to explain to Emily that Nessie had just gotten her . . . period for the first time and was freaked out. And that she needed to bring some . . . whatever it was girls used for that.

I managed, and Emily was at the front door ten minutes later. She managed to convince Nessie to let me wait outside while they talked, and half an hour later, she stepped out of the front door. I had been waiting outside it, a nervous wreck.

"Is she okay?" I asked as soon as the door clicked shut behind her.

"She's fine, Jacob," Emily said gently. "Like you said, she just got her period for the first time. She was just scared. I told her the basics, and taught her how to use the . . . feminine products, so she's fine for now. I brought her some medicines too, for her stomach, but Nessie told me that they don't work for her."

"They don't," I said, hating that Nessie might have to suffer through pain with nothing to help her. "No medicine does, but she's never really been sick before now."

"She's not sick, Jacob, this is normal." Normal? My Nessie nearly having a breakdown and asking if she was going to die was normal? "If you go in there and treat her like it's something strange, then she's going to feel like she's strange."

"I wouldn't!"

"I'm just warning you," Emily said, placing her hand on my arm. "She's growing up, Jacob, and you better get ready for it to start happening a lot faster than you're used to. Now, Nessie's feeling much better . . . actually a little embarrassed, so try to help her with that - and she still feels up to coming to your party this afternoon so I assume if Nessie's willing to come, then so are you?"

I nodded. If Nessie felt okay enough to go, then I would.

"Sure, sure, Emily, if Nessie's okay I will," I said, my mind already back on the girl in my living room. "I'm going to go see about her now."

"You do that," Emily suggested, but I was already inside. I barely had time to tell her thanks.

Nessie was sitting curled up on my couch, holding her knees tight to her chest. Her cheeks flushed pink when I walked in.

"Hi," I said, kind of stupidly, since I wasn't sure what else to say.

"Hi," she said back.

I went and sat down next to her and she turned in her seat to face me, just a little.

"Emily talked to me," Nessie explained quietly. "I - I feel so stupid. I knew about all of this, I'd read about it and everything, but when it happened to me . . . "

"Hey, hey now," I warned before she could start getting hard on herself. "Reading about something and experiencing it for yourself are two very different things. You're not stupid, Nessie, you're the smartest, most beautiful girl I know."

"Really?"

"Really."

There was silence for a few more seconds. Nessie scooted over a little awkwardly and leaned into my chest - I wrapped my arm around her back and cradled her.

"I'm sorry for ruining your birthday, Jacob," she finally apologized quietly. "I didn't mean to freak out so bad - I was just really scared."

"No, Nessie, now you listen to me," I told her sternly, pulling her back off of my chest so she could look at me. "The reason you were so scared was entirely our fault - your parents and me. We should have talked to you and warned you about this before it happened - and you didn't ruin my birthday, you made it perfect. If you hadn't come to see me, I'd probably still be sleeping or eating some crappy cereal. But instead I ate the best banana-chocolate-chip pancakes in the world and I'm sitting here with my best friend."

"Thank you so much for being my friend, Jacob," Nessie whispered suddenly, sitting up and wrapping her arms around my neck. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," I whispered back, surprised to hear my voice getting thick. Hearing Nessie say those words always sent a shot of emotion through me stronger than anything I ever felt. "So much, Nessie . . . thank _you_ for being my friend. You make my life so good."

Nessie pulled back to look at me and our faces were close. I felt my love for Nessie swell up inside of me, pushing out of my heart and into my body in that way that compelled me to reach out to her. There were a few new tears running down her cheeks.

I wanted to comfort Nessie, to give her a physical sign of how much I loved her. Nessie's eyes studied mine, our faces inches apart. Before, like the time in the woods when Nessie asked me about the meaning of married, if I kissed her lips it would have just been an expression of affection. Even now, my feelings that I felt for Nessie hadn't changed, not one bit.

But now as I looked at her lips and contemplated the idea of kissing them, it felt wrong. Not wrong in a bad way, but . . . I knew how things were for me. But for Nessie, she was officially beginning to grow up now. It really actually wasn't proper anymore.

I wasn't sure if I knew how to deal with that. I felt like I had just lost a freedom.

Nessie continued to study my face, her breathing a little heavy, and despite my new realization, it didn't dim my need to reach out to her. I just had to use another outlet, a more approriate one.

I reached my hand up to cup the side of Nessie's head, surprised when she leaned her cheek into my touch. I threaded my fingers through the soft hair near her temple and dipped my head lower so my face was even closer to hers.

And carefully, gently, I brushed her tears away with my lips.

Nessie shivered under me, but didn't pulled away, and when I was done she wrapped herself back in my arms until it was time for us to get up and get ready for my party.

* * *

_**Next:** The Almost Kiss_

"Let me up," I commanded. I didn't have to be firm with Nessie often, but when I was, she always obeyed. But this time, she wouldn't.

She just leaned down, making me exert more effort than I thought possible to keep my eyes on her face, until she was right over me. I could feel the softness of her body easily, too easily, through both of our shirts. I could _feel_ her breathing.

And despite my love for Nessie, despite the attraction that was literally burning under my skin, I felt anger rise up. The authority that was being denied - _Nessie_ was denying my authority, and it ate at me.

Nessie leaned in further, until our faces were closer than I'd been trying to keep them these past few weeks. I could feel her breath on my face, she was so close.

"Make me."

Something in me broke.


	4. The Almost Kiss

**_A/N: _**Happy Thanksgiving! A little surprise for you all! I haven't finished the last and final chapter of Kisses, but I'm about halfway there so I finally decided I'd jump the gun and post. I should have the next and final chapter to you reasonably soon. I'm sorry for the wait, but life's been hectic and my writing schedule crazy.

I would like to ask you all to remember that this is not _Hands on Me_ Nessie. This is _Kisses_ Nessie, a completely different character who may act, think, and feel differently. Nessie's character could have developed a variety of ways and I enjoy playing with them. Also remember Nessie's a teenager and going through a lot of changes that, because she's different than _HoM_ Nessie, she might handle differently.

So don't hang her yet, even though you might want to.

**_Disclaimer:_** I own nothing. A shout-out to my good friend Katie is required though, because she went over and over this with me when I was having a hard time writing a wrestling match. Seriously, I'd be a mess without her. I don't even know what this chapter would have turned out like.

* * *

The Almost Kiss

* * *

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"It's going to rain!" Alice called from the door as Nessie dragged me by my hand towards the forest.

Nessie laughed and leaped, turning so she was running backwards, still holding onto my hand.

"Rain? In Forks?" She called back out, her eyes shining. "Never!"

I picked up my pace a little, knowing as soon as I attempted to pass her, she would go straight into competitive mode. She didn't disappoint me.

She darted out ahead of me, still running on her heels so she was facing me. I felt small drops of rain start to pelt my skin. Nessie twirled, her hair flying out around her in a bright curtain of copper.

"Wanna hunt, Jake?"

I knew Nessie didn't mean for elk. She wanted to play.

And since she was my heart and soul and I wanted whatever made her happy, I did too. I slowed down to a jog and Nessie stalled her pace too.

"Okay," I agreed, taking pleasure at the way her eyes lit up. Nessie had always had light in her eyes, and it had always been beautiful, but now it was just . . . a completely new, different, sort of scary kind of beautiful. "I'll give you a minute and a half. You think that's enough, little girl?"

"Of course it is," she scoffed, then bounded up and shoved me lightly in the chest, using the leverage to bounce herself back to where she had been. She looked at me over her shoulder right before she took off. "I'll show you little girl."

And then she was gone.

I watched her go, hair flying and bare feet kicking up dirt like she always had, and took my minute and a half in solitude to collect myself.

When Emily told me to get ready for Nessie to start growing up a lot faster than I was used to, I brushed it off. I'd been half-worried to death about Nessie and just ready to get back in there to her, and besides, I'd been dealing with super-growth most of my life. And with Nessie's for all of hers. I thought I was more than prepared.

I was wrong.

It had been about six months since that conversation - Nessie's six birthday was in a few weeks. And she had grown . . . much, much faster than I was used to. Or prepared for.

I realized now that before, Nessie's growth, although accelerated, hadn't been very complicated. Just height - she just basically grew taller really, really fast. She still had the same gorgeous hair, beautiful eyes, sweet rounded face.

But now . . . Nessie was changing. And I was having a really, really hard time dealing with it. Her body started filling out, curves appearing in places where they hadn't been weeks ago.

Nessie was a completely, completely different kind of beautiful now than she had been before.

When I hugged her, I found myself not wanting to let go. When she pressed her face into my neck, something I'd always loved, I found myself loving it in a new way. I'd catch my eyes lingering over parts of Nessie's body that my eyes had no right to linger on.

But the strangest part was, my - my love hadn't . . . changed. I still loved Nessie exactly the same, but now I just want . . . I wanted . . . well, her. Not her time, not her love - although I wanted all that too, needed it like air. No, I wanted_ her_.

And that just wasn't okay. Not yet.

Last week, Carlisle said he estimated Nessie's physical age to be around fourteen. _Fourteen_. That was entirely, entirely too soon for me to be . . . wanting her like this.

But I undeniably did. It made things . . . difficult.

"Ja-ake!" Nessie called from somewhere in the forest. I let my hearing and my heart zone in. I could always find her so much easier than anyone else. She was a piece of me, how couldn't I? "Are you coming?"

"That wasn't very sma-art!" I called back, shaking myself out of my thoughts and starting a slow jog towards her voice. "Now I'm going to find you twice as fast!"

"You think that," she challenged, and then I heard the sound of the crunch of leaves beneath her foot.

Thankfully the rain hadn't wet them down enough for them to be silent - Nessie must have thought it had.

I closed my eyes and listened, inhaled deep in search of her scent. I loved this game. There was just something so primal about hunting Nessie through the woods; but catching her was always the best.

I jogged a little more in the direction I knew Nessie was in. There was another crunch and then a giggle. I knew that was Nessie's weakness - laughing. She always got too excited and started giggling when I got close. But the leaves - Nessie was too smart to make that mistake twice.

Did she want to be caught?

I stalked as silently as I could towards the sounds, until I could finally hear the faint thumping of Nessie's heartbeat. It was game over now; I was too close. She wouldn't get away. I just had to _find_ her.

The rain was coming down a little harder now, making a pattering sound as it filtered through the trees and landing on the leaves. I followed her scent about ten more yards, but paused when it abruptly disappeared.

I turned on the spot, searching all around me, trying to find her trail again. Where had she gone? Where had her scent gone?

I stopped. "Ness?"

Then, with a whooshing sound and a flash of copper, Nessie leaped straight into my vision. From a tree branch fifteen feet above my head. Before I could make a grab for her, she took off. I chased her.

I was still faster than Nessie, but she could give me a run for my money when I was in human form. I still always caught her in the end, though.

I usually let her lead me on for a little bit, drag the game out for her pleasure and mine too, but today I knew I wouldn't. I wanted to catch her. I _had_ to catch her.

I forced my legs to push me harder and saw myself making ground - Nessie's already pounding heart went into turbo-drive. She sensed me gaining on her.

When I was finally, finally three yards away, I leapt.

I grabbed Nessie around the waist, landing easily on my feet, and pulling her straight around to my other side. That would have been the end of it if Nessie hadn't wrapped her arms tight around my body and yanked her body's momentum back. We landed in a pile of tangled limbs on the forest floor.

Nessie's body wriggled and squirmed under me, trying to turn it into a wrestling match. Usually - before, all of our hunts ended in wrestling matches. No matter who won, the other wasn't ready to concede defeat - and besides, wrestling with Nessie was fun.

But now - it was still very, very fun. Only, in a way I wasn't sure I should be enjoying.

I forced my body to still. As of late, wrestling with Nessie had become . . . a test in control. Which I didn't like - I didn't like feeling out of control near Nessie. I was supposed to keep her safe.

"I got you," I said quietly, but clearly, lifting my body off of Nessie's the best I could. "I win."

"No, you don't," she challenged, like she always did. "I haven't given up yet - come on, Jake."

Then Nessie . . . bounced her body up off the ground, making her torso collide with mine in an attempt to provoke me. I gritted my teeth and resisted.

"Nessie," I reminded her quietly. "The rules . . ."

The night of my birthday, after I had brought Nessie home and her family had been filled in on all that had happened, Edward went into Daddy-mode. He came up with a whole other set of rules.

He said Nessie had officially began to grow up and certain things weren't appropriate anymore. No more spending nights at my house, no more lying in the same bed together, no more going out into the forest alone together after dark, no more sitting in my lap.

And no more wrestling.

"Oh, please, Jacob," Nessie argued, rolling her eyes and still wriggling under me. I did all I could to keep our bodies from making contact. "You always broke the rules with me before . . . they're stupid, you even said . . . "

She was right, I had. When Edward started putting his tyrannical Daddy-fist down, I had helped Nessie revolt. We both thought it was stupid - I would never take advantage of Nessie. How was today any different from yesterday?

So when Nessie was allowed to come to my house during the day, she always sat in my lap. Always, when she had only done it occasionally before. And if we were in my room playing video games and I sat back on the bed, Nessie would wedge herself right under my arm.

And when we played hunt, it continued to end in a wrestling match.

I don't think either one of us appreciated Edward trying to put boundaries on our relationship. On the way we were. It was simple and easy and none of his business where Nessie sat when she was at my house, or what games we played when we were having fun in the forest.

Quite frankly, I thought Edward was being a douche. I understood his fatherly concern, but he'd seen deep enough inside my head by now to know that I'd never hurt Nessie. So I didn't see how the simple fact that something different was happening with Nessie's body now was supposed to mess it all up.

But then, as the months progressed . . . and Nessie progressed, I began to see wisdom in Edward's rules.

It became difficult to be so close - beautifully, temptingly difficult. I had never been anything but honest with Nessie, but I wasn't sure I could tell her about this. How would I? I had never . . . felt like this about anyone or anything before.

Just because my love hadn't changed, didn't mean things weren't different. My love, my overpowering, overwhelming love for her combined with this new . . . attraction was unbelievable.

I didn't just want to kiss her - I wanted to marry her. I didn't want to just be her strong protector. I wanted to be her strong man, someone she could look up to and respect, but also . . . love.

Like I loved her. Like - like she already loved me, but with . . . this new awareness.

"Come on, Jake," she coaxed again, and I wanted to give in. But I couldn't. I still wasn't used to controlling the new feelings and awareness of her, and I couldn't risk doing something inappropriate or letting Nessie in on what was going on inside my head and my body. "Let's go."

The next thing I felt was Nessie hooking her legs around my waist and attempting to pull my body down against hers. She gained a few inches byway of surprise, and smiled in victory.

I shifted my arms to steady myself, but Nessie just started pushing insistently against my shoulders. She knew just how to provoke me, challenging my dominant nature. Nessie knew me better than anyone else.

"Nessie," I was surprised to hear myself growl, and her eyes widened. I was a little surprised myself. "Stop."

Nessie froze under me for the briefest of seconds. Then the soft line of her jaw . . . hardened, just barely. I saw something settle into her eyes.

"No."

I tried to get up, but she had me tight, her legs wrapped firmly around my waist. She arched up, her body coming into contact with mine as she tried to pull me back down against her. I prayed for control.

What was she doing?

Nessie was breathing hard, her eyes lit up like I'd never seen them, and the rain was coming down harder than ever now. She was so beautiful. And her legs, around me, felt so good.

"I _want_ to play, Jake," she said firmly, and then - I don't even know how, she threw her weight, and mine.

And the next thing I knew, I was on my back and Nessie was above me. She straddled my hips, holding them tight with her knees, and braced one hand firmly on my chest, holding me down. Or trying to anyway - I was still too shocked to move.

For a second, I just took her in. Her hair was hanging around her in wet tendrils, drops of water clinging to her eyelashes. Her arms were covered in dirt from being on the ground and her - her shirt was soaked. Her white t-shirt.

She was still breathing heavy, and my eyes were glued to the swells of her breasts that I could barely see through the wet fabric, rising and falling. I tore my eyes back up to her face. In my current state, I didn't think I could risk moving under Nessie like this without ruining everything.

"Let me up," I commanded. I didn't have to be firm with Nessie often, but when I was, she always obeyed. But this time, she wouldn't.

She just leaned down, making me exert more effort than I thought possible to keep my eyes on her face, until she was right over me. I could feel the softness of her body easily, too easily, through both of our shirts. I could _feel_ her breathing.

And despite my love for Nessie, despite the attraction that was literally burning under my skin, I felt anger rise up. The authority that was being denied - _Nessie_ was denying my authority, and it ate at me.

Nessie leaned in further, until our faces were closer than I'd been trying to keep them these past few weeks. I could feel her breath on my face, she was so close.

"Make me."

Something in me broke.

Power and anger and dominance surged in me. I was furious. I was doing my best to do right by her, keep her close in the right ways and distant enough in the other ones, to love her just the right amount. To make sure absolutely no unneeded pressure was placed on her shoulders, no boundaries were crossed.

Nessie knew how much I loved her, she knew how it all worked, she knew I never did _anything_ that wasn't best for her and she was still _pushing_ me.

In the next instant, I had her back under me. Nessie gasped from the suddenness and force of the move. She immediately began to struggle under me, but I wasn't having it.

"You wanted to wrestle, Nessie?" I asked, pinning her body easily under mine. "You think you can beat me?"

Nessie tried to struggle under me, wrapping her legs back around my back and trying to turn our weight again, but I was prepared and wasn't having it. I was bigger and stronger and wouldn't be dominated.

I leaned my torso up just enough to catch Nessie's arms, holding each down with one of my hands. It wasn't hard, and three seconds later, Nessie was completely and utterly helpless under me.

It was disturbing how much the idea appealed to me.

We were both panting, me with more than effort. Nessie's body against mine was temptation in itself; pure, beautiful temptation. I had never felt anything like her in my life and I wanted - loved - _needed_ her so, so bad. But I resisted.

"There," I said finally, our faces close again, but I found myself unable to make myself pull away. "We wrestled. I won. It's over, Nessie."

Every single bit of tension, or rebellion, of revolt, melted straight out of her until Nessie laid under me, finally submissive. My stomach tightened, more strongly than before. But her breathing stayed quick, and I realized when I could feel it against my lips that I had leaned even closer.

"Jacob . . . " She whispered quietly, her voice finally back to it's sweet, innocent tone that I loved. I wanted to relax, but I couldn't - my body wouldn't allow me.

Then her small tongue darted out to swipe across her lip. Suddenly, the rain felt very heavy, like it was weighing me down and I couldn't resist it. So heavy that I had to submit and let my full weight fall straight into Nessie were I could finally find peace.

"Jacob - please . . . "

Please?

Nessie tilted her chin up, the smallest bit, and suddenly my lips were very, very close to hers. I was suddenly more confused than I had ever been. I had never felt this, nothing similar - the feelings I had for Bella years ago didn't even scratch the surface on this - and I didn't know what to do.

With Nessie, my wants had always been hers - I'd never felt conflicted. Maybe between her and Edward, but never with Nessie herself. I'd never wanted, desired a thing that could hurt my Ness.

But - but please? Did that mean . . . she wanted . . . was there another explanation?

Then Nessie's body arched, rising gently into mine, and I bit back a groan. She was heaven beneath me - her legs held me a little tighter and I resisted the urge to close my eyes. I couldn't take my eyes away from this.

These eyes, that were searching mine, wide and deep and more beautiful than any thing I had ever seen. "Please . . . "

I was perilous, perilous seconds from leaning in, making our lips meet in a way eons different from all the times they had met before. But as I did, I had the thought of cupping her face, holding it gently in my hand as I brought our lips together - and that's when I realized.

My hands were still curled tightly around Nessie's biceps. My body was still against hers, pinning her to the ground. Nessie wasn't asking for a kiss, her body wasn't yearning against mine in the way I had deluded myself into thinking it was.

She was trying to escape. I had been too rough, I had scared her - she was pleading with me to release her.

Disgust immediately flooded through my system and I threw myself back from her body, yanking myself free even of Nessie's legs that were wrapped around me. I retreated several yards, unable to even be in the proximity of her.

How could I have done that? How could I have let a - fourteen-year-old, a - a _five_-year-old move me to something like that? I thought as my imprint, I was incapable of harming Nessie, but I'd been wrong.

In the worst possible way.

I grew even more disgusted as my eyes roamed over Nessie and both my body and my mind still registered how beautiful she was. Sprawled on the forest floor, dirt caking her arms and legs in stark contrast to her gorgeous skin and beautiful hair. Her clothes soaked through, showing me the shape of her body more easily, her expression hurt.

That sent another stab to my gut.

"Jacob - " Nessie reached a hand out to me, most likely in an attempt at comfort, but I wouldn't accept it. I didn't deserve her comfort after what I'd done. I didn't even deserve to look at her. "What - "

"I - I have patrol." I recognized this as the first lie I ever told to Nessie. "I - you go ahead and take yourself home, and - and be careful not to lose the trail. I - I'll see, I just - "

And then, leaving Nessie still sprawled, soaking wet on the forest floor, like the coward I was, I ran.

* * *

_**Next:** The Lover's Kiss_

And so that was how it was.

Nessie didn't touch me, and she didn't let me touch her, at all. The idea of not touching Nessie was unbearable from the very beginning, but my joy of having her back overshadowed that for a while. A while last precisely two hours, when I came back to see Nessie the next day.

I promised myself I would be good and respect Nessie's wishes, no matter how much it hurt me, but I didn't think I realized exactly how much it would hurt. In so many ways.

No more sitting close together, no more playful shoves, no hugs - not even high-fives. It had been _six months_ since I'd felt Nessie's skin against mine and I was desperate. Like a dirty pervert, I tried to stand close when she walked by in the hall or lay my arm perilously close to hers, hoping she'd accidentally brush across me. Anything to feel her.

But . . . she never did. She moved her arm and she'd press her back flat against the wall to avoid touching me if she had to, or turn around and walk the other way altogether. Even though I still had Nessie as a friend, the rejection burned like nothing I'd ever felt.


	5. The Lover's Kiss

_**A/N: **_Wow. Hi. Haven't done this for a while. Anybody still there?

Hello??

Only kidding about that, but it has been a while. I've missed you all! And now I'm back with the awaited, long-ago promised final chapter of Kisses. It's been about half written since the last chapter was posted, and then about almost completely written since a few months ago. But I just last night finished it up and cleaned it off, and now I'm here to present.

God willing, I'll be traveling to Libya on the 11th. I probably won't have regular internet access, but I write a _ton_ there, so that's a plus.

Whew, I'm rusty with this author's note thing. :) About the chapter, I just wanted to say that I'm happy with how it ended and I hope you are too. Jacob finally got to give his most special kiss.

I'm finally back, only to be ending something else. *sigh*. But I really hope you all can love it as much as I do. Thank you to every person who ever read or reviewed.

As always, endless love.

xx.

_**Disclaimer:**_ I don't own a thing. Trust me, I'd tell you if I did.

* * *

The Lover's Kiss

* * *

x. X. x

I felt Nessie slip, elusive as ever, from my arms. She always slipped away right after I thought I had triumphed, fading away and trapping me in my dream alone. But this time, I was jerked into consciousness by a movement around me.

Being a werewolf, my eyes needed no time to adjust to the pitch blackness in my room, but I squinted and shook my head anyway, sure I had to have still been dreaming. Or at least some strange combination of asleep and awake, because sitting at the foot of my bed, was Nessie.

But then her beautiful eyes widened, and she sucked in a gasp, and I knew I definitely wasn't dreaming.

I was aware of three things immediately: the first being Nessie was soaked from head to toe, the second that she had snuck into my room when she most definitely wasn't supposed to be here, and the third being that I was naked.

"Nessie," I said, snatching myself into a sitting position and thanking God my sheets were still pulled across my hips. "What in the hell are you doing here?"

"I - I just . . . " I watched Nessie's eyes skating over me, only growing more uncomfortable. "I wanted . . . "

"Do your parents know you're here?" I questioned, even though I already knew the answer. They sure enough didn't, and I was lucky if the treaty wasn't broken already by an enraged Edward. "How - why in the hell would you - I, I need to . . . turn your back, Nessie, so I can get dressed."

Nessie's eyes widened even more and I took this to mean she hadn't noticed that I was naked. She immediately hopped from my bed and rushed to the very corner of the room, turning her back to me and looking like a child put in time out. I immediately felt like shit.

I had been too harsh - but I'd been startled.

Still uncomfortable with the situation, I did my best to keep my sheet around my hips as I leaned over the edge of the bed to grab my discarded gym shorts. I made sure my back was to Nessie's as I pulled them on and cast my eyes around my floor for a shirt, but couldn't find one and gave it up as a bad job. I'd never worn one before, but now I felt like I should.

"Ness . . . " I said tentatively, and felt even worse when she jumped at the sound of my voice. "I - I'm dressed. You can look now."

She did, turning around to face me, but she didn't move from her place in the corner by the door. I felt a breeze against my back and realized Nessie must have come in through the window, because I hadn't left it open. How hadn't the sound woken me?

But I already knew - my dreams of her were entirely too consuming.

This had been almost unbearable lately. Nessie and mine's relationship . . . wasn't good. Not like it had been. About a week after my horrible lapse in judgement in the forest, Nessie and I had a fight. Or the closest we'd ever been to one anyway.

I went over the next day after . . . the wrestling incident, despite my humiliation and shame, needing to see that she was okay. Things went almost back to normal, but . . . she kept touching me. Even more than before, running her hands over my shoulders when I didn't have my shirt and pressing her lips lightly against the side of my neck when she hugged me, driving me nearly insane.

Didn't she understand what almost happened in the woods?

Then a few days later here at the house, instead settling herself in my lap like she always had done - something that even now was getting to be a bit too much - Nessie climbed into my lap the opposite way, straddling my hips.

I lost it.

I - I couldn't take having her so close. Right against me, almost worse than before. I lifted her off of me, pissed off with myself and a little with Nessie, asking her what she was doing. Why did she keep doing this? What was up with all of this touching? What in the hell, Nessie?

Nessie gestured her arms widely and stepped back away from my couch, shifting all her weight onto one of her legs, poking out one of her hips, as she had been apt to do lately. I tried not to notice.

"What?" She'd asked loudly, her voice wavering more than I liked to admit. "Do you not want me touching you?"

What was I supposed to say? No, I definitely want you touching me - I want your hands over every inch of my body. I want to touch every inch of yours, explore all the places on your body my hands haven't felt before.

I must have taken too long to answer because Nessie scoffed. I tried to reach out to her, take her hand, anything to express to her that I _did_ want her touch, in the most innocent way possible. She jumped away from me though, her expression disgusted and tearing at my gut, shaking her head.

"No, Jacob, no," she said lowly, still shaking her head. "_No._ That's - that's it. If you don't want me to touch you, then don't you touch me. I don't want you touching me."

I don't think I'd ever felt pain like the pain I felt at those words. I needed Nessie, to see her and touch her and talk to her and be with her, I needed that to survive. I just couldn't handle _those_ kinds of touches, not yet. Maybe with time, maybe one day I could accept Nessie's innocent touches for what they were, and my body wouldn't betray me, but not now.

I had never meant to . . . reject Nessie. Never. I needed her.

"Nessie . . . "

"Take me home, Jacob," she demanded, stalking to the corner of the room where she had left her bag.

I didn't want to take her home. I couldn't . . . I couldn't leave things like this. I didn't even realize I was on my feet until I saw Nessie getting closer as I walked to her.

"Nessie, please, don't leave yet - let me just explain - "

"There's nothing to explain, Jacob." I was completely unused to hearing her voice like this, hard. It tore at me. "Now I'm going home, whether you take me or not - as you can see it's twilight and you of all people should know I'm not allowed on my own after dark. You can either take me since you're so big on keeping all of Daddy's rules, or I'm going on my own."

I still stood, frozen.

"You know what? I'm going," she said, her eyes narrowed. Still looking at me with such . . . disdain. I couldn't feel my legs. "I'll take myself; I don't even want you coming with me. You can call Daddy and tell him I'm coming if you want, and I promise I'll take the blame so you don't get in trouble with the boss. See you around, Jake."

Around. Not tomorrow, not soon. Around, like at family get togethers and random bump-ins at the grocery store. Like strangers.

Watching her go, I wanted to follow her. I - I knew that I should, but I was unable to. Nessie didn't want me following her and I couldn't force my presence on her. I knew she was safe running the short distance home at twilight, only another one of Edward's rules, so I had no excuse. I had to let her go.

Because she didn't want me.

What had I done?

I bolted to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before my stomach emptied its contents into the bowl. I just sat there, contemplating exactly where my lust had gotten me. In hell. I had hurt the person closest to me, and now she didn't want me - as even her friend - and everything was completely ruined.

I had brought my world down on my own head on account of my weakness. My inability to simply touch my best friend without feeling the animal urge to claim her.

I eventually stripped off and got into the shower. There, for the first time in years, the first time since my Nessie was born and I had laid eyes on her perfect face, I cried.

Needing to at least see her face, even if it was scowling at me, I rolled out of my bed I hadn't slept in early the next morning. I at least needed the chance to beg for forgiveness. I took my car since I couldn't bear to have anyone else inside my head. Edward opened the main door to the house as I got out of the car and I waited for him to attempt to send me away, but soon I forgot all about him.

Because Nessie - my Nessie - ducked under his arm and stepped out onto the porch. Edward shut the door behind her and she glided lightly to me. She held her arms half-open at first, but then crossed them tightly over her chest.

Her eyes were red, and it killed me to see it.

"I'm so sorry for the way I acted, Jacob," she said quietly, but sincerely, and I soared. Not because of the unneeded apology, but because you didn't apologize to people you hated. "I had . . . no right to talk to you like that. I wanted to call you . . . but I was too ashamed. I'm so sorry."

I watched her eyes well up and I felt mine want to follow suit, but I held back that urge. My arms itched to hold Nessie, to comfort her, and that urge was harder to resist.

"Don't be sorry, Nessie, please," I begged, watching her shift her weight uncomfortably. She looked so tired. Was it possible she hadn't slept either? "Here . . . honey, lets . . . sit in the car. You look tired. We can talk there."

Nessie nodded and swiped at her eyes, still not looking at me. I tried to rush to her side and open her door for her, but she waved me off and I took heed. I would tread very carefully from here on out and I wouldn't put myself where I wasn't wanted. I wasn't chancing losing this again.

I slid into my side and left the door open since Nessie had. Her body was angled towards me, but her eyes were on my leg and her arms were still crossed firmly in front of her.

"Nessie . . . " I breathed, taking in the pure, relieving sight of her. Here, looking sad, which was horrible, but not angry. Definitely not hard or hateful. "Please - you have to know I'd never . . . "

"I don't - " Nessie shook her head almost frantically, wiping at her eyes again. I wished she would let me do it for her. I wished I could, with my lips like before. Without fear of the animal taking over my body and forcing me to claim her here, now, in this very car. "I don't wanna talk about it anymore, Jake, really."

I nodded. I wanted more than anything in the world to apologize, to repent and be forgiven, but if Nessie said no more talking about it, then I would be silent.

"I - I have no excuse for being so . . . cruel," Nessie continued, uncrossing her arms and looking so helpless it made me ache. "I hope you still . . . I hope you can - still be my friend."

She drummed her fingers in the armrest between our seats and then stopped, digging her fingernails into the material there. I realized a second too late Nessie was waiting for my answer.

"Of course, Nessie, I . . . I came here to beg you to forgive me," I explained, unable to take my eyes off her her face like I could force her by will alone to meet my gaze. "You're my best friend, I . . . I need you. I could never just . . . you're my . . . "

I didn't have words, so my hand automatically reached out to cover Nessie's, since that was the only form of comfort I could think of that would do any good. But as I did, Nessie pulled her hand away, back into her lap.

Then she lifted her red-rimmed eyes to mine.

"Jacob," she said quietly, and I let her gaze search my face. I realized my hand was still hanging in the air and let it drop. "I am sorry for being cruel, and disrespectful, I swear. But the . . . the touching thing, I meant it."

And so that was how it was.

Nessie didn't touch me, and she didn't let me touch her, at all. The idea of not touching Nessie was unbearable from the very beginning, but my joy of having her back overshadowed that for a while. A while last precisely two hours, when I came back to see Nessie the next day.

I promised myself I would be good and respect Nessie's wishes, no matter how much it hurt me, but I didn't think I realized exactly how much it would hurt. In so many ways.

No more sitting close together, no more playful shoves, no hugs - not even high-fives. It had been _six months_ since I'd felt Nessie's skin against mine and I was desperate. Like a dirty pervert, I tried to stand close when she walked by in the hall or lay my arm perilously close to hers, hoping she'd accidentally brush across me. Anything to feel her.

But . . . she never did. She moved her arm and she'd press her back flat against the wall to avoid touching me if she had to, or turn around and walk the other way altogether. Even though I still had Nessie as a friend, the rejection burned like nothing I'd ever felt.

Our relationship had changed. We were still best friends, but . . . not like before. Something was missing - the touch was missing. We would hunt together, but only elk, not each other, and when we watched movies together it was from opposite sides of the couch or even the room. And the touching wasn't the only absence.

Nessie stopped . . . letting me in.

Nessie told me everything about every part of her day before, and how she felt about it. Most times she would show me. God, how I missed Nessie sharing her gift with me, feeling her small palm against my cheek and then seeing things she saw and feeling things she felt. I'd give anything to know what Nessie felt right about now.

But I knew.

The worst part though, the absolute worst, was that it wasn't just me this . . . separation was affecting. It was affecting Nessie too. She always looked tired and she refused to wear her new clothes, the ones bought to keep up with her recent growth spurt. Edward insisted (and I silently agreed) that Nessie wear her new clothes in public, but if we were at my house or hers, Nessie walked around in tight jeans that rode low in her hips and shirts that slid back to reveal inches of pale white skin. Clothes she'd outgrown months ago.

It only made not touching her so much harder.

Especially when she looked so tired and sad, like she did most of the time. Nessie wouldn't sleep at my house anymore, and if I insisted too much that she needed some sleep she would ask me to take her home so she could get some. Or sometimes, I'd look up and catch Nessie looking at me with this . . . expression in her eyes that I didn't understand, and then when I met her gaze she'd turn her eyes back down to my knees and ask me to take her home.

It seemed like all I did was take Nessie home these days.

Our relationship had . . . roughened, and there was no other word for it. It wasn't a smooth ride anymore, and I wished we could at least talk about it, but it all stemmed from one problem and that one problem was the one thing Nessie was uncompromising on.

No touch.

What was I supposed to do, beg her to let me touch her? Or better yet, beg her to touch me? I would never.

And so, here I stood, half-naked before an almost half-naked and soaking wet Nessie, in my bedroom in the middle of the night. Nessie hadn't made an effort to see me in . . . months. And then here I found her in my bed at three in the morning.

She was in her too-small clothes and soaking wet, not to mention it wasn't July. She shivered faintly as she stood, her arms wrapped tight around herself, her eyes wide and open in a way I hadn't seen them in awhile.

"You need to get out of those clothes," was what I heard myself say.

I walked to my dresser and pulled out a t-shirt, which should be more than big enough, especially considering the way she walked around these days. I handed it out to her, already knowing the drill, making sure enough of the shirt dangled from my hand for her to grab onto or she would refuse it. Nessie took it gingerly in her hand, holding it away from her wet body. She still didn't speak.

"Nessie . . ." I tried to reel back the frustration in my voice, but it was hard. I spent my life constantly frustrated now, at myself and what I had done to my life with one little mistake. "_Where _are your parents?"

They had to have been hunting or at the big house or something, because there was no way she ran off without them knowing. Unless they knew, which was highly unlikely.

I wanted to kick myself when I watched the open look - the one I hadn't seen on Nessie's face in months at least, fall away. I watched her close up.

"They're in their room, or maybe in the shower - hell if know. I left out the window," she said, crossing her arms again and probably wetting the t-shirt in her hands. I was shocked. I had never heard Nessie speak like this, or curse. "Either way, they're locked up together doing what they do all night every night - or whenever they think I'm asleep or not listening that well. Trust me, they're busy. They won't notice I'm gone until they come up for a cigarette break."

That was by far the . . . crudest thing I'd ever heard Nessie say. The bitterness in her voice didn't bypass me either.

So Nessie had snuck out?

"So they don't know you're here?" I asked, imagining the rage that was Edward in this situation as the phone in the living room started to ring. "I guess that's my answer."

Nessie move in front of the door as I stepped to get to it.

"Please don't tell him I'm here," Nessie pleaded, clutching my shirt to her chest, and the open look was back in her eyes. "Please, Jake."

Jake. I hadn't been Jake since that 'see you around, Jake' six months ago. I hadn't heard my nickname from Nessie's lips in so long that it shocked me.

But there was no way I could lie to Edward about something as important as this. I'd kill him if he did it to me.

I couldn't bring myself to tell her no, so I opened the door as far as it would go with her standing in front of it.

"Move, Nessie, and let me answer the phone," I commanded. Over the past months, that had been happening more. Nessie still submitted to my authority, for whatever reason, and so I used it as my only connection with her. "Change into that shirt, or a new one if that's too wet, and let me handle this."

Nessie's gaze dropped from mine and she stepped away from the door. She walked straight to my bed, already unbuttoning her jeans, and I rushed out the door and shut it tight behind me. Then I walked the two steps to the living room and snatched up the phone.

"Edward?" I said into the reciever, already knowing.

"Jacob!" He said, sounding relieved, probably at me assuming it was him and that meaning Nessie was here. "Is she with you?"

"She is," I answered quickly, not wanting to keep him in suspense any longer. I knew what he must be feeling - if I thought Nessie had gone missing . . . "She, uh - I woke up as she was climbing through my window."

It wasn't the exact truth, but telling Edward I'd woken up to Nessie literally in my bed wouldn't help her case any.

"_Why_?" He shouted, but it wasn't directed at me. It was just pure relief, and confusion. "We never stop her from seeing you - why would she do this?"

"I - I don't know, Edward," I told him honestly, as I heard the door to my bedroom creak open behind me. "I don't know what to tell you."

"Well . . . thank you, Jacob," he said, sighing, and I could imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose. "You can . . . go ahead and bring her home now."

I was just about to answer when Nessie ducked into my line of sight, dressed in my shirt and hair still dripping. The open look was back, and she shook her head and waved her hands almost frantically.

_No, please, Jacob, please, _she mouthed. _Don't take me home yet. Let me stay. Please, Jake._

It had been months since Nessie had not only visited me on her own, but asked to stay longer. She was usually the one cutting our visits short. But now, for whatever reason, Nessie wanted to be with me. I wouldn't send her away. I could see from her eyes that something was wrong, and I needed to find out. I needed to be there for her.

"How about . . . just give me a minute, Edward," I suggested, and watched Nessie's body sag with relief. "Let me talk to her, try and see what's up. I'll bring her home soon."

Nessie bit her lip as we waited. I knew from here she could hear too.

"All right," Edward decided, and Nessie literally collapsed against the wall. "Talk to her and see if you can make some sense of it all, but bring her home soon."

"I will," I promised, and hung up the phone.

Nessie just watched me, and for a second, we just stood there.

"Do you want to go back to my room?" I asked, since Nessie didn't seem to like being in my room as much anymore. But she had just snuck into it. "Just so we don't wake Billy?"

"That's fine," Nessie answered, and when I gestured for her to walk ahead of me, she did.

I followed Nessie in, shutting my door behind us and going to my dresser to rifle through for another shirt. I pulled it over my head and when I was done, Nessie was still standing awkwardly in the center of my room.

I sat down at the head of my bed, crossing my legs and hoping that would make Nessie more comfortable, but still she just stood there.

"Sit, Nessie," I instructed softly, and she obeyed. "You're not on trial."

When she sat, she sat surprisingly in the center of my bed and not the foot of it, and we were closer than we had been in awhile.

"I . . . " Nessie started, and then stopped. "I just want . . . can we talk, Jacob? You know, about stuff, like we used to?"

"You can . . . always talk to me, Nessie," I said, feeling at odds. Didn't she know that? "You don't have to sneak into my room at four in the morning to do it."

My voice wasn't harsh - I was sure of it - but Nessie still flinched, and my heart panged.

"I can . . . come back," Nessie said timidly, breaking my heart even more, her arms wrapped tight around herself. "In the day, if you want . . . I just - "

"No!" All I felt was confusion and hurt. And worry. I didn't understand a thing right now. "Nessie . . . I . . . I _don't _want you to leave."

There was nothing to say besides that. It was all I'd been needing to say for months - I don't want you to leave. I _never_ want you to leave, and it hurts me . . . when you do.

Nessie was quiet for a second, recrossing her legs and pulling the hem of my shirt down over her knees like she was suddenly self-conscious. She tugged at a curl, damp now and hanging from over her shoulder as she brought her eyes back up to mine.

"Have you ever . . . felt like . . . " She exhaled a deep, shaking breath that moved her whole body. I wondered if she was cold. I wished I could warm her up. "Like you weren't you anymore?"

For a second, I had what could only be described as a flashback. Sixteen and standing in the living room, feeling like I was about to burst out of my skin, Billy telling me I looked funny.

Then the explosion.

The shaking, the tearing, the pain searing through your skull as you _changed_. Your bones moving. Space and time suspending as the way you perceived the world moved. Everything moving into sharper quality, dimensions and depth-perception enhancing.

And then the _voices_, inside your head. Helping you, but at the same time, invading.

And just like that, you aren't you anymore.

I definitely knew what Nessie meant. On more levels than she could ever fathom.

"I have," was all I said though. I remembered that feeling - that horrible, detached feeling, and I _never_ wanted Nessie to feel that way. "Do you . . . feel that way?"

Nessie nodded a little and dropped her eyes to the small space of bed between us.

"Sometimes," she mumbled. "Sometimes it's like . . . what makes a person _them_? The way they look and the way they feel and the way they . . . act. Right?"

I didn't know what to say, so I just nodded her on. I couldn't even begin to describe all the things that made Nessie up, made her what she was.

"So if I don't . . . . look like me and I don't feel like me and I don't _act_ like me . . . " Nessie brought both of her hands up to rake her fingers through her hair and then she looked at them, like they were . . . not a part of her or something. Then she looked at me, eyes wide. Shining. "Then who am I, Jake?"

God. I wanted to cry. Or smash something.

Nessie had been suffering more than she'd ever let on, and I hadn't done anything about it. I thought Nessie was the one separating us, but I was just watching her float away, when she needed to be pulled back.

"I hurt," Nessie said, her eyes floating above my head and scanning the wall, like she wanted to look at anything besides me. Her voice shook and I wanted to hold her. Her words ripped a hole in my stomach. "Everywhere. All the time."

I knew - I had obviously seen - that Nessie had been hurting emotionally, but this . . . it didn't sound like that was what she meant.

"In my bones," she elaborated, ghosting her hands down over her arms like she was trying to hold herself. Like she couldn't sit still. "The growing pains. They're so bad . . . so much sometimes I can't even think, and they never let up."

I hadn't . . . I'd never _known_ . . .

"And it's not just my bones - I feel like I'm about to burst out of myself, all the time, like all of this changing is finally going to explode and morph me into something completely different than what I am, more than now even . . . "

"Nessie," I breathed, stunned. It was more than the shock of hearing her feelings after so long, it was the depth and magnitude of them. The suffering she'd been holding inside of her. "You're not . . . you're still you, honey. I - I know a lot about exploding, trust me, and it's not going to happen to you."

Nessie made a loud, kind of watery sound that was halfway between a cry and a laugh.

"It's my skin, Jake." Jake. I was Jake again. "How it . . . doesn't like to stretch? That's how it feels . . . I mean, I know I'm not going to explode, but . . . "

"But?"

I wasn't exactly an expert at comfort, but my every instinct was aimed towards the happiness of my life force, of Nessie, and she definitely had a lot of demons she had to exorcise. I was - terrified to hear them, but I would. I had to, for her.

"I don't . . . want to grow up," she whispered, biting the inside of her lip. "If it's gonna be like this."

"It's not going to hurt forever," I promised, knowing it was a safe one to make. Her growth would be done by the end of the year, we were sure of it. Or Carlisle and Edward were, at any rate. "It'll be better soon, and then . . . it won't hurt anymore. Have you . . . told Carlisle, about how much it hurts?"

I wanted so badly to take her pain from her, to take it into myself so she could be free of it. How long had she been suffering like this?

"Yeah, but it's just growing pains, there's nothing they can do about it," she mumbled, still fidgeting. I wanted to move closer, but I couldn't risk Nessie closing herself off again. I wouldn't. "And it's . . . it's not even the pain, Jacob, it's just that the hurting makes everything so much harder . . . "

"Harder?"

I had been making it harder, hadn't I? By constantly trying to touch her, to force my closeness on her when she didn't want it.

"I didn't think growing up would be like this." Nessie leaned down and picked a thread from my bedspread, wrapped it tight around her finger, but it didn't turn pink like a full-human's would. "It's like, every single good thing that came from it gets . . . blocked. Or messed up. And I'm changing so much, even inside . . . and I'm just scared - scared that . . . "

"What are you scared of, Ness?" I prodded, literally clenching the sheets of my bed to keep my hands from reaching out. "You're going to be fine, honey, I promise."

"I'm scared that - " Nessie paused to dig her tiny fists into the covers too, but for very different reasons, I'm sure. Her voice was so small. "That nobody will love me the same . . . now that I'm not me anymore."

My heart broke. Literally snapped in half, looking at her then. How could she even think - ?

"Nessie, _honey_," I said leaning forward, ducking my head to catch her eyes. I wished I could tip her head back with my fingers like I used to, but thankfully Nessie met my gaze anyway. "Listen to me: _you are still you_. You're growing up and you're changing, and that's _okay_."

"No!" Nessie burst out, louder than anything she'd said all night, shocking me. "It's _not_ okay! Not if it makes me want things I can't have, and do things I can't explain, and hurt people I care about! It's a _horrible_ thing!"

Somewhere during all of this, Nessie had brought herself up into a kneeling position, and she leaned forward and buried her face in her knees. I heard a small muffled noise, a cry, and I reached back and gripped my headboard to contain my hands.

It cracked under my grip, but neither one of us registered it.

"Nessie," I heard my voice warn. I didn't want to ruin things now, but I was dangerously close to doing so if Nessie didn't face me. Dangerously close to gathering her in my arms and forcing her to meet my gaze. "Sit up so I can see you. Please."

She did, slowly, tiredly. And faced me with wet eyes.

"Look at me, Jacob," she said tearfully, and I swallowed a lump in my throat. I think a good deal of this problem was because I spent entirely too much time looking at her. "Look at how I am. Nothing fits. My clothes don't fit . . . my relationships don't fit. I . . . don't fit."

"You fit, Nessie," I swore, unable to draw back the dominant tone in my voice. I was unable to be anything but utterly serious about this fact. "Clothes will always eventually not fit, but you fit - you always have. You fit here with . . . with us."

I wanted to say with me. But I felt like I shouldn't.

Nessie's eyes watched mine, reserved and swimming with tears. One of her hands braced between us on the mattress, half holding her up.

"Not . . . with you I don't," she finally whispered, and every muscle in my body locked up. Were we going to talk about this? Finally? "I don't fit with you anymore, Jake."

I wanted to tell her that she did fit, that _we_ did fit. That God had made us to fit together and I had known it from the very first second I stared into her beautiful eyes the very day she was born. But I couldn't do that.

I wanted to beg her to give me the chance to show her just how well we could fit, if she let me.

More than that, I just wanted to make her feel better. Close the void between us and be Nessie and Jake again. I wanted to hold her close and let her whisper her hurts in my ear like she always had so I could promise they'd be all right.

But . . . when _I_ was her hurt, how did I fix it?

I wanted to tell her that her body was beautiful, that I loved every inch of it, and that the inside of her was just as amazing as the outside. I wanted to let her know that the pain would go away soon, in only a few months, and then she'd be done with this extremely rapid, scary process. I wanted to let her know that I still loved her - I would _always_ love her - no matter what she did. And there wasn't any action in the world that could make her stop being my Nessie.

I wanted to _touch_ her.

I was so sure, so, so sure suddenly that this was the only way to fix everything. I was never good with words, never that guy - I could never tell or describe or explain to Nessie the boundless, limitless place inside of me that was my love for her.

It wasn't just my own need, though, I swear it - I was past my own heartache and despair right now. I was watching my beautiful girl sitting before me on her knees, crying because she hurt all over and she thought she didn't _fit_ with me when she was the only thing that'd ever fit me in the world

I couldn't risk hurting Nessie again, but I couldn't let her keep on hurting like this. I couldn't fix the ache in her body, and that killed me, but the ache inside of her was my responsibility and I was the most horrible man in the world to have let it fester as long as it had.

I watched Nessie's eyes, beautiful and wide and tearful and chocolate brown, skitter over my face. She was trying to hold back more tears, the arm braced on the bed between us shaking.

I watched her hand, pale and small, inches from my knee and gathered up all of my courage and all of my love.

In the back of my mind, I steeled myself for rejection, but my heart ignored it completely. Left itself wide open.

Then with a movement I'd been dreaming about for months now, I reached out and covered Nessie's tiny hand with my own.

Nessie's eyes widened, past what I'd ever seen them go before, but she didn't pull away. Warmth shot through my arm, up from the place where I felt her soft skin under my palm, up into my whole body like I was being thawed out.

I _was_ being thawed out. If a vamp ever got the chance to come back to life, this must be what it would feel like. A warming. I felt the blood in my body begin to flow again and my heart restart.

I was home now. But Nessie . . .

She was just watching with her beautiful, beautiful eyes.

When she pulled her hand out from under mine, my heart had barely had time to start breaking again before she threw herself at me. Across the space between our bodies, into my arms. Hers closed around my neck and mine moved, on instinct, to close around her small back, keep her there.

It was another punch to the chest, and it hurt, but in the best way. It was the best hurt I'd ever felt in my life, to have her again.

Nessie shook in my arms and pressed her face into my neck, letting her arms move around my shoulders. I could feel her breath against my skin, ragged. Her _skin_ against my skin, cold.

"Oh, Jake," she panted against my shoulder, running her forehead from my neck to my shoulder and back again. "My Jacob."

It had been even longer since I'd heard _that_. Her Jacob.

All I could do though was hold her back and let the hug bring feeling back to my body. It was unbelievably _good_ to have her like this again, in spite of everything. I slid my arms up and down her back, relishing the pure closeness of her after so long. Her scent - God, I had missed the smell of her hair.

"I'm your Jacob, Ness," I finally found the courage to say, like speaking would ruin the dream. "Always."

"I'm so _sorry_," Nessie choked into my neck, and my stomach tightened when I felt her tears. "I never meant to . . . I didn't want . . . please forgive me, Jacob. Please."

"There's nothing to forgive," I promised, turning my head to press my nose into her hair. So soft. It had been so long.

"There is," she persisted, sliding her arms down to wrap them around me from under my arms. She kept her face in my neck. "You just . . . I know you didn't mean to, but you hurt me . . . and I - "

"I'm so sorry for hurting you, Nessie," I swore, trying to swallow down the lump lodged in my throat. I knew I had, but to hear her say it tore at me. "I swear I never meant to. Everything I ever do is for you, you have to know that."

"I missed you so much." If she only knew how much I missed her, even when she was sitting right in front of me. "I'm cold without you, Jake."

"I - I'm cold without you too," I said truthfully. "I'm dead without you, Ness. You can get warm now though, I'm here."

Even though Nessie's skin was ice cold, probably from the storm outside, I thought she meant emotionally. Until she moved her head to the other side of my neck, avoiding my eyes and whispered, "Warm me?"

Her sweet, hesitant request and shivering body gave me no choice, not that I had another one anyway. I lowered my hands to her arms, rubbing them up and down the cold skin, trying to bring some blood back into it. After she'd been out in the rain, I should've given her a blanket, not a t-shirt.

Nessie's knees now were inside the space my crossed legs created, but as I soothed my arms over her arms and down her back she slowly lowered her body until she was sitting on my knee. Then her body . . . sagged completely against mine, every muscle in her body lax. Like every bit of tension had been drained from her body.

"It - it doesn't hurt," she mumbled into my shoulder, and I looked down and was finally able to see her face. Beautiful. "My bones don't hurt . . . not like before. You . . . you make the hurt go away, Jake."

"I'll always make the hurt go away, Nessie," I promised, but it was only after I said it that I realized I had probably let too much of . . . everything get out into my voice.

I think Nessie might have heard it too, because she brought her eyes up to mine. She was cradled in my arms, like a baby, like I had held her when she was first born, only things were worlds different now.

She bit her lip, just the corner, and reached up, pressing her fingertips to my jaw. I felt love, strong and warm, rushing into me from Nessie's connection. So long since I'd felt it, it was enough to knock something loose inside of me.

I waited for Nessie to end it, but she didn't. The love grew wider and stronger and more, even though she was only using her fingertips. It grew hotter. I hadn't been warm in six months, not until a few seconds ago, and I hadn't been hot in years.

Nessie's eyes were bright, still shining with tears, and her lips were beautiful. Her love was strong. Her breathing grew harder and more labored as more love, more pure, hot love poured out of her body and into mine.

Her lips parted wider and wider with each breath. Her body, her small, beautiful body seemed like it was straining in my arms. I realized my lips were parted too when I tasted her breath.

Sweet, and close.

Too sweet. So close.

God, not again.

How could I do this again? Let my body and my heart take control of the situation? I hadn't had her in my arms two seconds, and her eyes were already dragging me back in. Her scent was already making my head swim. Her lips were already begging me to taste them.

And her love - surging so fast and hard, straight from her skin to mine - her love was killing me.

"Jake," she whispered, her voice soft. Her waist was soft, the curve of her hip was soft, in my hands. "Jacob, I love you."

"I love you too," I swore, and my voice was rough. Low. But I meant it more than I'd ever meant anything else. "I love you too, Nessie."

And I was sorry I couldn't do it right. Sorry I couldn't take her love like she was willing to give it to me, and be happy. I was sorry that I wanted more so badly. So sorry.

Nessie's body moved up in my arms, and her face got closer. Her fingers slid up and back, never sealing the connection between us, until her fingers were almost cupping my jaw. She was too close. She was testing me.

"Jake?"

"Yeah, Ness . . "

Her eyelids fluttered shut, and then open. I spent a fraction of a second being jealous of the way her lashes brushed across her cheekbone. Her tongue, small like the rest of her and bright pink, came out to wet her lips.

Like an animal, my mouth watered. My body tightened.

I loved her _so_ much.

"Jake," she whispered, and then there was the slightest pressure on my jaw. Her fingers, pulling my face down a fraction. Then she stretched up, up another inch, and our noses brushed. "Don't . . . please . . . don't run away again . . . "

"I'm not . . . " I couldn't breathe. I felt like I couldn't breathe, but I was panting harder than ever. "I didn't . . . I'll never run away from you, Nessie . . . "

"You did," she argued, her eyelids rising and falling like she was fighting sleep. I was afraid to move. "You did, Jacob, you ran away from me . . . what did I do?"

Then it burst into my head like a punch to the gut. Running from Nessie. Leaving her wet and dirty on the forest floor while I ran like a weak . . . like a damn coward.

"I'm sorry . . . " I would get down on my knees if that would make her feel any better. But I didn't want to move. "I didn't mean to . . . "

"Don't run again," she whispered, and her body strained again. We were centimeters from me making a very huge mistake. "Please, Jake . . . I - make me fit with you . . . "

"Fit?" My mouth felt absent. It only wanted one thing, and that wasn't to talk. "You fit . . . Ness, I told you . . . "

"No, Jake . . . like this." Her breath came out in a rush against my mouth, and then her thigh moved. From laying against her other thigh to stretching out, and coming to rest against my hip. "I want to fit with you like this . . . "

And then her lips - the lips I'd dreamed about - thought about for hours. The lips I knew every curve of, had imagined tasting a thousand times . . . they were closer than they had been in years. My Nessie's soft . . . soft pink bottom lip was hovering in the space mine left. Not touching . . . just there. If, if I moved my lips at all . . .

Then my Nessie breathed my name again - Jake - soft and barely there, from the back of her throat. She wanted to fit.

I could make her fit. I might bring it all down around us, but for a few seconds, I could make her fit. With me at least.

I took a deep breath that tasted like Nessie, like her lip between mine, hovering in the air. Like loving her so hard and so strong, and for a second - just a second - I knew I wouldn't mess it all up.

I brought my hand up, from around her back, to hold her neck. Cup it gently. Her breathing was almost as ragged as mine and I could hear her heart, thundering like a rabbit. Like I was chasing her through the forest.

Hurtling after her, her hair flying back behind her like a copper flag. Her bare feet kicking up dirt, her t-shirt riding up to reveal a slice of white skin . . . and then she'd look over her shoulder . . .

I pulled our faces together, closed whatever space was left between us - I threw how everything had ever been before straight out the window - and closed my lips around hers.

Her gasp made every muscle in my body tighten. Her bottom lip was soft and full. So delicate, so fragile between my own. Her body arched in my hands like a bow, and her other arm wrapped around my neck.

I waited for reality to come crashing back, and it never did.

I had kissed Nessie before - dozens of times, in dozens of different ways - but it had been years since I had kissed a girl. And I had never kissed a girl like this. A crazy beautiful, amazing, perfect girl that I loved so much it hurt.

That kissed me back. That wrapped her fingers in my hair and sighed soft and sweet into my mouth and made everything all right. That made me want to cry from pure happiness.

I didn't have time to worry about what it meant. I only knew that Nessie's mouth, shy and inexperienced, made me feel like I'd never felt before. I had her - finally. She fit with me when she fit nowhere else.

I fit with her. Here. Like this.

Nessie's hands scrambled through my hair and I held her tighter. I did my best to be soft, but her lips and her sounds and her body kept begging me otherwise. She was an angel. She was heavenly. She moved her lips against mine, easy and slow, and her palm on my jaw let me feel every second of it.

My kisses felt good to her. She liked the way my lips felt between hers. My scent made her feel opened up. She wasn't paying attention and she wasn't controlling what she gave me. I got all of it.

Her body, shifting in my lap, was heaven, but dangerous. Her mouth was too sweet. Her body too responsive.

I tried to pull back, close the kiss, but Nessie's fingers left my hair to catch my face, keeping my lips against hers. She opened her mouth wider under mine and made the sweetest noise in the back of her throat.

"Ja-cob."

"Ness . . . "

I didn't know what I was going to say when all of this was over, but for now that was enough. Ness.

Nessie's lips started moving more insistently against mine, wanting but sure, and her hand kept urging me closer still. Then I felt it - warm and wet - Nessie's tongue, grazing my bottom lip.

I groaned without meaning to, and Nessie kissed harder. Sat up further in my lap, until she was on her knees. I wrapped my arm around her waist and she leaned forward into my mouth even more.

I knew this wasn't supposed to happen like this. That we needed to stop and talk, I needed to make sure Nessie knew what was going on. That she wanted this the same way I did. But I couldn't. Not yet.

I slid my fingers into her soft, damp hair and stilled her head momentarily so I could dip in, take each lip between mine carefully. Then finally, taste them. Nessie's breath caught in her throat when I brushed my tongue softly against her bottom lip, tasting it.

Just like I'd imagined she'd taste like, and more.

I checked when she froze though. Had I gone too far?

I pulled away to check her face, to ask her . . . anything, but again, she pulled my mouth back to hers.

"Don't run away," she murmured again, opening her mouth under mine and making it hard to think. "I love you . . . I missed you so much . . . "

God, I had hurt her. She had wanted me to kiss her that day. And I had ran.

She was so desperate, so beautiful, and I was so weak. It would be wrong to keep going. Nessie was laying claim on me the only way her body told her to, and I didn't want to be the one who took her so far she regretted it.

But she kept kissing me like she'd done it a thousand times before, and pressing her body against mine. She kept moaning and sighing and I was half-insane and it hadn't been two minutes.

Then she leaned her weight back, against my arm. My body followed her lead without question, and a second later I had her on her back. Under me. One hand behind her shoulder-blade and the other on her hip, her body rounder and softer than I was used to feeling. She was heaven.

Nessie's arms slid up my back, wrapped around me, and I kissed her harder. I took everything her open mouth offered. Nessie fell back, the desperate edge of her kisses stayed, but she gave me the lead. I felt her give it up to me, follow my cues, react to my body.

Then she drew her tiny hands over my arms, up the backside of them, and breathed into my mouth.

"Jake," she breathed into the kisses, her voice small. "Pin me."

For the first time since our lips made contact, I pulled back fully. Away from the softness of her mouth, back, far enough to see her face. Beautiful and young. Her lips . . . redder than usual, a little . . . swollen.

Beautiful.

Mine.

"What . . . ?"

I watched her brown eyes watch me, watched her tongue come out to wet her lips. Wished that I could do it for her.

"Pin me down," she said quietly, almost a whisper, but the words were clear. I didn't understand. "Like that day . . . in the woods. Hold me down, Jake."

"I don't . . . " That didn't seem right. It didn't seem like what I wanted from this. It didn't seem like the right thing to do by her. I didn't understand. "Why . . . ?

"Like before," she begged, and then I felt her thighs reach around my hips, and close. Holding me in, holding me against her. "Hold me down and . . . don't run away this time."

My stomach twisted, in the good way and the bad one, as I remembered that day. Exactly. The rain and the dirt and her body under mine. Submissive, lax. Her lips begging to be kissed . . .

She didn't want me to run this time.

I sat back on my knees and looked at her. She wasn't struggling to get away from me this time. She was watching. I saw it in her eyes - waiting. To see if I would stay, stay and take her and make her fit with me, or if I would run again.

I reached down and put my hands on her waist. It was small and soft and the perfect size for my hands. Nessie's body raised into my touch, arching up off of the bed. Her body responded, but her eyes were still waiting.

This wouldn't be exactly like last time - I would never be so rough again - but hopefully enough to calm her mind. To bring this full circle, or whatever it was Nessie needed from this. From me.

I slid my hands up, up her sides until I was just under her arms. Then I kept going, gently but firmly drawing her arms up above her head. She offered no resistance. Her heart was thrumming just as fast as if she were kicking and screaming under me. She folded her arms over one another once they were over her head, and still she watched.

"Don't move," I said, since I was unsure what else to say, and it seemed to go with the scene she wanted me to set.

She obeyed without so much as a nod or even a blink, eyes wide.

I laid back over her, between the space her legs made for me, and brought my body down against hers. Braced myself on my elbows and brought my forearms down over her biceps, holding her in place.

Nessie didn't move, but her heart thrummed faster. So fast I was sure I could almost feel it against my chest.

I leaned in closer, brought my face to hover over hers. Just as it had that day.

"Jacob . . . " I recognized the tone immediately, the tone that had confused me so much and made me wreck everything, from that day in the forest. "Jacob - please . . . "

The same words. The exact same words from that day, but she wasn't acting.

I watched her eyes and her lips and listened to the thrumming of her heart and tried to steel myself do to this. It was suddenly important to me too. A chance to fix my mistakes. To redo my most shameful moment.

Then I felt a touch to my palm. Nessie's hand, bent at the wrist, reaching down so her fingertips barely brushed mine. I felt a small touch of love, seeping though her gift, and watched her wet her lips.

I slid my arms up an inch further, so my forearms still held her in place, but she could cross the small gap between us and hook two of her fingers around mine.

Then, exactly like it should have happened, I leaned in and brought our lips together. It was soft and sweet and how it all should have been.

I pulled back away with a soft sound. Nessie's fingers held mine tighter.

"I love you," I told her quietly, because she needed to know. "And I want to be with you . . . always. And I'll be whatever you want me to be for the rest of my life, but please . . . don't _you_ run away again."

"I'm sorry, Jake." I loved being Jake. I loved when she arched her body up and took a soft kiss from my mouth. "I just . . . I was changing so much . . . and wanting . . . and then when you pushed me away, I felt like you didn't want me . . . "

"I wanted you," I swore, leaning down just enough to brush my nose with hers, just enough to feel close. "So much, Ness . . . I was just . . . scared."

"Of me?"

"Of hurting you," I corrected.

Nessie's fingers brushed back and forth over mine.

"Can I stay tonight?"

I didn't think about it. "You can stay forever."

Then . . . she smiled. Her lips spread, turned up, and there was even a flash of teeth. A real smile.

I kissed her again. I started it, and she prolonged it. Her mouth was so sweet.

I released her arms and sat up, reaching down to pull her with me. I turned us the right way and Nessie followed my lead, lying down on her side beside me. I reached down and rested my hand on the curve of her hip, checking her eyes to make sure it was okay.

Nessie's hand came up to cup my cheek. I felt a flash of pain and remorse.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, Jake," she whispered. I pulled her body closer to mine. "It . . . it hurt not to touch you. But I thought it would hurt worse . . . "

"Shh," I quieted, looking down at her remorseful eyes. Her tiny foot reached around to rest on my calf. "I understand, and it's okay. Really, Nessie. Do you . . . still hurt?"

"Not anymore," she replied, making my heart lift. Nessie pillowed her head against my chest. "Not with you."

"I'm so glad." I kissed her hair. "I'm so sorry you had to hurt at all."

"It's . . . worth it. Worth . . . all of it, if you like me like this," she whispered, her voice almost as small as her body in my arms. "Do you, Jake? Like me . . . like this?"

"I _love_ you like this," was all I could think to say. I didn't know how to assure her. How to . . . "I love you however you are, Nessie. Your - your new body is . . . beautiful."

"You're beautiful," I was surprised to hear say quietly. Then her hand reached up to cup my jaw, her touch light. Her body arched against mine. "Too. So beautiful."

I reached up to lay my hand over hers on my jaw and then slid it down, up her arm and then over her shoulder and down her side. This girl was amazing. She was perfection personified and she called me beautiful.

When my hand came to rest against the arch of her back, Nessie shivered. My instinct was to hold her closer. She didn't need much pulling, her body already bowing towards mine.

It was amazing. _She_ was amazing.

Why did she love me?

She was soft and beautiful and warm and after so long without her touch - the only touch that mattered - all I wanted to do was lay here and soak it in. It seemed like that was what Nessie wanted too. Her body shifted closer to mine, her arms huddled close between us. Her thigh slowly moved up to rest against my own.

Warm. It was heaven to be unfrozen.

"I love you, Jake," Nessie murmured quietly, a few calm moments later. Her fingers, in my shirt now, found purchase, gripping softly. I dipped my head down to see her, and there she was. "And I'm sorry - "

"No sorries," I warned, squeezing her waist gently, simply because I could. It was an intimate, honest, and completely underrated thing, touch. "Not from you, honey."

"I love you," she repeated then, almost an amendment, redoing the sentence before it. Nessie's eyes, soft and brown and so full of light, dropped down to my mouth and it made the tight ball of lust begin to curl up once more in my stomach. "I missed you."

I was opening my mouth to somehow find the words to tell her the emptiness I felt without her. To find some way to express how lost I had been without making her feel guilty. To let her know how at rest and at peace I felt now, laying here against her. Where we were meant to be.

But before I could even get a breath of it out, her tiny hand was pressed against my jaw again, gift wide open.

There were no memories or pictures. No emotions. The message was plain and simple. Words.

_Kiss me._

Bringing my hand up to cup her jaw nearly swallowed her whole cheek, but we both leaned in together, and with a soft, electric kind of jolt, our lips met in the middle.

_Fin._


End file.
